at the beginning of May

at the beginning of May was written by my dearest friend, Huda Shahool Hameed during our high school year before she left SMKJ3 for some sort of fancy boarding school.yeah, she wouldn't mind me mocking her school,as i always against the boarding school's uptight rules. now,she still attending fancy school far away in Vienna, Austria talking in germany language all around. she intent to continue in chemical engineering and i ask her to become rich so that she can join my backpacking dream. Alas, i kept this poem as remembrance not just towards my far bestfriend but to bear in my mind how friendship can be truthfull and so sweetly meaningfull. before my friend becomes boastful (because i'll keep saying how good she was and still as a friend), i would like to state my reasons why am i sharing this trophy of mine in my blog because, i felt pity and sympathy towards girls who declared war and anger to their friends because of jealousy. why do we let our heart full of envious feelings and revengeful desire for the sake of petty things like pretty lads and scanty fame? why loose such a loyal friend over precarious boyfriends. make wisdom as our motto girls. better have a sunny day than a rainy one. hence,dont make asking for a second chance as our habit as broken heart left scar: and scar takes time to heals sometimes it never recuperate and remain wounded.


thus,i present you.-trophy of mine.
At the beginning of May-special for wan chan

The shading tears of the day,
made me wonder at the beginning of May,
an inquisitive mind started to spin,
thinking that everything is not what it seem,

a magnificent girl stood alone,
a wonderful poet there on its own,
minding her pal that had gone,
to try the new air of the new zone,

'farewell' was the word from me,
'sayonara' was that from thee,
your tears made mine shaded,
made me realise the friendship we've made,

i was never a brummagem heart when it comes to friendship
for the one motto that i always keep,
to be with anybody with a wonderful heart,
and it is you that made me start,

i felt thankful of knowing you,
i hope you do feel it too,
we'll meet again that's the promise,
at the beginning of May will it be the cherish.

H.lilo.F 6th may 2007
(she include in the paper some illustrations using maker pens,she's not good in doing it..haha)

huda, that date is the last time i saw you.

today is my dearest friend,afrah's 19th birthday, i couldn't manage to get her kitten's necklace that she wanted so much in time nor can bake a lovely cake or cook something verrrryy delicious(because it wont be a surprise,i'll ask the recipe from her), but, sincerely from my heart,happy birthday and may allah let our friendship till heavens day.kiss**

heart our friendship.seek friend not foe.leave jealousy take kindness.

letter to my rose

my beautifull rose,
my best loved flower,
your smell are heavenly tranquil,
where did you came from?
to me,
beauty and you are a word,
i adore you,my dear companion,
during my downfall and tears
giving your smell for my serenity,
till you wilt and weary,
i'll put you beside me,
paying you with my loyalty.

ibu

what is it after our mother?
our husband,wife,spouse, or partner?
what is it she deserve after giving birth?
what is it she deserve after nursing and care?
what is it she deserve for giving unconditional love?

must i wait till i become a mother,
then i can have the all the answers?

what is it after our mother?
is it our gems, wealth or cars?
what should we be, think or give?
so i remain still.thinking.

what is it after my mother?
i know several answers,
i can give dua' in my prayer,
be good and let her live in honour,
use my warmth to help the sick and poor,
so that my daughter become me,
i am her in admire,
then she'll live forever.

unusual mansoura morning

today i woke up quite early from my usual after exam morning. i decided to checked the 'pedex' office at syarie' jihan as the package should arrive today, however,of course, as expected, the pedex is still close eventhough the time is already 9.3o am. the interesting part about mansoura's offices,either it is hospital or the university the office hour is variable, it depends on the clerks whether to open it late or early. But one thing i know,2.30 pm..if i still standing there,i'll get 'khalas,bukra,bukra.no today no today'. but, no offence Mr. hisham, you are very dedicated with your work. Especially, with 'israr's pedex'.

well, enough about the offices management, what i want to write is about the faces of malaysian student this morning. As i am enjoying my not so cool walk,i saw many mini van across my path, the rooftop of the van are piled up with many sorts of cool bags with different colours, i knew it right away,this must be the manchesterians folks all jolly ang giggling in the van, excited to go to the cairo's airport. yes, i am very right as suddently they directly shouted at me
'hey,israr, kelas tak de la hari ni.semua orang pergi airport'
yeah yeah,i smiled,and said 'enjoy folks' and start waving at each minivan carrying this happy manchersterians to the airport. At this particular moment,i felt like i am one of the kelantanese folks,saying hi and passing akok in the middle of the road. in a simple word 'gege'. Well the blood is still there i guess.

faces of satisfaction. yes, that is what i saw this morning. i still remember my emotions during my first study week as a freshmen. i can not describe it in words how i felt during this particular period. It was so very different from the previous weeks i had during my school striving year. Tones of cases are all piled up, the lectures are all written in time table, and my study table, doesn't look like a table anymore. What makes everything hard is not just the study itself,but the pressure to go home,(in my case,the tickets,thanks to super mommy who manage it tremendously well). the 3 o'clock sleep time and 6 in the morning wake up call, eating ordered food are all the bits that i had. oh,not to forget,kak ren's(my roomie) morning call 'uji,bangun sekarang!!study,cakap nak jayyid jiddan,ingat senang ke exam?'.i'll get a buttock smack if i still as aam would call 'tenggiling atas katil'.

when i saw my result,eventhough i am not supposed to know it yet (i managed to look it using my wits and super sonic eyes to sneak at the back ok the paper,my name was covered with liquidpaper) i felt a relieve. something that stucked in my throat are all flew away,ahh i can hear my tummy ken's voice already. i think, i'll have my collegues face too tomorrow. alright then, until we meet again.

p/s: i am still struggling with my words and grammar to get in right up to par again. after all, the main reason i start this blog is,as mok yah would say,dont loose your queen's english.

where am i standing?

i came with hopes and dreams
flowered with tales and stories
ahh,not to mentioned the land's glory
it is already a magnificient history
written in every gallery

i came with expectations and worrisome
merry to be a scholar and a traveller
at the same time
tiny in steps but enormous in guts
making mistakes but fought to be right

where is this land i am standing?
i watched people greeted each others
as they were made brothers and sisters
i ate the best fruits,cuisine and broth
as they are from heavens bestowed to earth
i witnessed the greatest civilisation
as they unite the people in a unique connection

where is this land i am standing?
i watched people declaring war over metal scratches
as it is the only denouement found
i saw tricks and frauds are clouds of life
two pairs of eyes become unworthy
as the voices are there but weak and unheard

why this strange land broke my heart to pieces?
where i witnessed young souls far from home
foresight
frauds are honesty
smiles are incredulity
cheats are compulsory
money is priority
faiths are weakening

where is this land am i standing?